The Secret Handbook 4 Teens

Let it RAIN

Hi guys. Sorry it’s been awhile since I’ve posted but my Mom passed away a few days before Christmas and, as you know, my Dad passed away about a year before that so I’ve had a lot on my plate. I’ve been trying to take care of myself though and one of the things I did for myself recently was attend an all day retreat withTara Brach, Ph.D. It was an amazing day filled with lots of insights and thinking but I really wanted to share one of the meditation techniques she taught us because you don’t even really need to use it when you’re meditating. It’s really just a good life practice. It’s called RAIN.

Recognize

Allow

Investigate

Nuture

Here’s how it works. Let’s say you’re at school and someone makes a rude comment to you and it hurts. You find yourself going back to it over and over again which seems sort of silly because you don’t even know or like this person so why is it impacting you so much? To help understand why you’re so upset it’s time to practice RAIN.

First, Recognize that you’re upset. Don’t try to brush off the feelings but stop and take a moment and Recognize – hey, I’m sort of upset about this.

Second, Allow that you’re having these feelings and that’s ok. “Ok, I’m upset about this rude comment and it’s not really anything else that’s bothering me so I need to just sit here for a minute and acknowledge and allow these feelings that I’m upset.”

Third, Investigate. This is where things get interesting and this is where you have to put some work in. On a superficial level it’s easy to say “Oh, I’m upset because that person was rude.” But Investigating forces you to look a little deeper. Why do you care that someone made a rude comment? Well, because it hurts. But why does it hurt? Because it made me feel bad. Why did it make me feel bad? “Because I’m afraid they don’t like me and that if they don’t like me maybe other people don’t like me.” But why am I afraid of this? See, how you can dig deeper and deeper? The purpose is to really try to understand your deep feelings behind something. Once you can start to Recognize and Acknowledge these feelings you become more aware of how your mind is working, how your thoughts impact how you react and respond to things and who you really are deep down inside.

Finally, Nuture. Now that you’ve figured out why you’re upset it’s time to take care of yourself. It’s time to say, “Hey wow. I didn’t realize how these little things upset me and what they awake in me but that’s ok. I’m human and these are just feelings and thoughts. In reality, I am loved and I am worthy of love.” The words don’t even matter so much. Sometimes you can Nuture yourself just by sitting with the feelings until they start to fade and you accept them as an ok part of who you really are.

So, when  your mind is spinning and the world feels out of control, stop and take a moment and make it RAIN. Just like rain cleanses the world when it comes down, this simple exercise can cleanse your mind and your soul so the sun shines again.

XO

 

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