The Secret Handbook 4 Teens

So I Should Hate Myself? Is That What You’re Saying?

squirrel mirror

With all the talk on this blog, and in general, about how horrible the ego is and how your little voice never has anything good to say, you might be getting a little confused. You might be thinking that you should hate that part of yourself. So, I want to be clear about something, you don’t need to hate your ego* or think that it makes you a horrible person, it’s actually an important part of you. What’s key, however, is realizing that it sometimes speaks so loudly,  it can become the voice we listen to the most and it has been known for giving bad advice.

Let’s look at examples of the ego at work in both a good and bad way:

Good way: That moment when, without even thinking about it,  your hand shoots up in class to answer a question because inside you know “I got this. I totally know this.” That’s an example of your ego giving you the push and confidence you need.

Bad way: That moment when your friend doesn’t text you back and you think “She/he must be mad at me. What did I do? Did I do something wrong? I’d better text her/him 16 more times to see if they reply.” That’s an example of your ego undermining your confidence and self-worth by planting doubt and insecurity in your mind. Imagine if you listened to that ego all the time! Lots of people do and let me tell you something, those are the people you usually instinctively dislike whether you realize it or not.

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When in Doubt – Practice Awareness So Your Soul Can Speak

girls arms up

We’ve talked about using moments of anger or sadness (or any other extreme emotion) as good opportunities to practice awareness but moments of doubt and insecurity are also prime times to look inward.

Anytime you’re about to do something that you feel doubtful about, take a look inside yourself and listen to your little voice. It’s very likely that your little voice/ego  has jumped in and is providing it’s opinion of the situation.

Remember, when practicing awareness you’re not actually engaging your little voice, you’re just taking a peek at it & are becoming aware that it’s talking.

For example, let’s say you want to talk to the boy/girl you have a crush on because they’re standing in front of you in the lunch line but you’re nervous about it because you’re not sure how they’ll respond.

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