Trying 2 Practice What I Preach (The Good, Bad & Ugly)
Hi guys!
Sorry I’ve been absent from the blogging world for awhile but my parents are 82 and 88 years old and last week they were BOTH admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. I don’t live in the same state as them so I quickly packed up my bags and headed home where I immediately entered a very stressful, emotional and exhausting situation. I’m happy to report that they are both now home and slowly recovering but what I really wanted to share was my real world examples how hard it can be to put all these secrets and tools into action when you really need them.
To deal with an emotional crisis, where a crisis really can be anything that’s getting you very upset, my advice has been to sit with the emotions, to feel the emotions, to meditate and to try to stay in the present moment or the Now. In particular, staying in the present moment or the “Now” has always stood out to me as one of the most important tools. Basically it’s not worrying about the past or the future and not letting yourself imagine some worst-case scenarios that your mind starts to believe. It’s just staying where you are and dealing with what you know.
I’m here to tell you that it was really really really hard to practice what I preach but I’m also here to tell you why that’s ok.
Staying in the Now when your parents are both sick is really tough. Your mind starts to imagine the worst. You worry about what tomorrow will bring. You worry about what you will do if one of them should die. You wonder if they will get sicker. You even start planning funerals in your head. I know you don’t need more examples of the crazy and upsetting stuff I was thinking (and I know you have your own upsetting stuff to deal with) but suffice it to say, my mind was a whirling mess of worst-case painful scenarios. Even while I was doing this though, deep down I knew I had the tools I needed and I knew what I needed to do to stop. That’s where the work comes in and where the rubber meets the road as they say.
Let’s face it. It’s easy to say “Stay in the Now!” when nothing is wrong. It’s easy to say “You need to meditate.” when you can’t even take a deep breath. It’s easy to say “Don’t listen to your little voice.” when your little voice is screaming, crying and taking up all the space in your head. The good thing is that just trying to remember and use these tools and secrets immediately helps you feel just a little better. Trying to use them also makes them easier to find and use the next time.
Knowing that I needed to stop and breathe forced me to do it. Knowing that I needed to stop imagining the worst made me slow down and at least try to stay in the present moment. Knowing that I needed to meditate made me at least close my eyes for a moment to try to take a short mental break.
Was I successful at this all the time? Ha! That’s funny! Absolutely not. But, it helped a little bit and I know next time it will help a little more. The same goes for you. These tools can start to help you even if you just know that they’re out there and you remind yourself to at least try to use them.
So breathe, meditate, silence your little voice and try stay in the present moment.
It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
The 7th Secret: Sit Down, Shut Up & Be Silent
If there is one thing that really smart people throughout the years have figured out, it’s that a key to happiness is quieting our minds and basically giving ourselves a break. We are surrounded by constant noise and stimulation in our lives and our poor little brains are just about on overload all the time. Wouldn’t it be nice to just shut down and take a break from the world now and then? I know turning off your smart phone may actually sound stressful but yes, I’m suggesting that you even take a break from that.
I’m obviously not the first nor will I be the last to talk about the importance of meditation. What’s nice is that while people have been practicing meditation since, well forever, we now have the power of science supporting meditation too. It turns out that, over the years, really smart people have documented the all the health and emotional benefits of meditation. I say all this just so you don’t think you have to take my word for it (even though I am a scientist which must count for something right!?)
I encourage you to google the positive effects of meditation but I’m here to tell you that ultimately, meditation will make you happy and that’s why meditation is the 7th Secret to a happy life.
Secret #7: Meditate.