The Secret Handbook 4 Teens

One Simple Thing U Can Do 2 Change This Sometimes Scary World We Live In

Yesterday I was sitting in a meeting with my colleagues and was discussing the wariness and sometimes outright fear that I feel when commuting into work on the train. My senses are always on. I’m always looking around and assessing my fellow commuters. I’m ready to “See Something, Say Something”, I look for my escape route. To be honest, it’s a pretty sh*tty way to feel on what should just be a train ride home or to work and I wish I didn’t have to feel this way but it’s hard to not translate what you see on TV and sort of be ready for it to maybe happen to you. I, sadly, often do the same thing in movie theaters which doesn’t make for the most enjoyable experience. But obviously we can’t live our lives this way right? Sure we have to be aware but if we let ourselves get too caught up in this thinking, it can lead to paralysis, paranoia and worse.

So what can I do and what can you do to try to counter this? Well, this might sound simple and it might not even feel like you’re making a difference in the world (but I would disagree – I believe this actually works) but I think at a very simple level you can just think, feel and send out love. I tried it yesterday. It was a super crowded train and I felt myself beginning to grow tense (and my Spire told me I was getting tense too) and I decided to try a different approach. I closed my eyes and started to send out love to my fellow passengers. I sat there and thought, “I love each one of you. I love your humanity. I love your faults. I love our connectedness. I love that we’re all here on this planet together. I love that you have someone who loves you too. I love that you matter. I love that you are me and that I am you.” I just sat there and tried to picture warm rays of love coming out of me and touching every unhappy and stressed commuter on that train. I know, I know, it sounds cheesy but stay with me here.

So did it work? Did someone feel that love and turn around and look at me meaningfully in the eye? Did I make that real world connection with someone and change the energy on that train? Well no. At least not that I could see or sense but I felt love. It caused a shift inside of me. I felt that connectedness with those around me. I was no longer feeling tense or anxious or fearful. I just felt peaceful and that somehow, it would all be ok.

It’s not rocket science and it doesn’t immediately address all of this world’s problems but I believe in my heart that if we all did this, if we all committed to just trying to feel love towards one another, we could start to shift. Will you try it with me and let me know how it makes you feel? Sending you all, obviously, lots of love!

What Do U Love & What Does it Say About U?

I just got a pamphlet in the mail and on the cover is the quote by St. Thomas Aquinas – “The things we love tell us what we are.” and it really made me pause and think. What do I love and what does it say about me? Family and friends were the first things that popped into my mind. Ok, that’s good. That probably means I value relationships and those who are close to me. Ok, I’m good with that. My next thought was animals. I love all kinds of animals and nothing brings a smile to my face quite like an animal encounter (even if it’s just watching funny animal videos online). Yup, I’m good with that too. A love of animals, to me, in some ways shows that our souls are wide open to love and especially to the unconditional love that animals offer. It also shows a love of the natural world and all the benefits associated with it. Ok, good. My next thought was Real Housewives and reality television. Whaaaat??? It’s true! I love getting lost in the scripted and unscripted drama of these shows (a guilty pleasure for sure) but if I dig deeper, I also think it may show that I am fascinated by human behavior and what makes us tick and God knows these shows are filled with humanity at it’s best and worst. Right? That’s why I watch these right? Surely there is some deeper reason why I love reality television! Maybe it’s just escapism? Maybe I love to leave my world for a little while and immerse myself in fiction (which is why I love reading too perhaps?) All interesting musings…

So what do you love? What does it say about you? Are you spending or giving your love to something that doesn’t serve you in the long run? Does your love show you areas where you are lacking or needing something? Does it show you a part of who you really are that you should invest in more deeply? A simple question with many deep answers. Ok, you go think about that. I have to get back to watching Bravo TV.

Psssst…..I’ve Discovered the Meaning of Life. Try this experiment & see for yourself!

pink sweater love

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.  

– Marianne Williamson

Ok stop reading.

Go back and re-read the quote above really carefully. Did you catch that last part? That to experience love in ourselves in others is the meaning of life? It’s true. I talked about this more detail when I presented 5th Secret but now I want you to try a little experiment to test it out for yourself.

It’s really simple.

Starting tomorrow, for 24 hours, approach every situation you’re in and every person you meet with love.

You don’t have to speak your love aloud or say a word, just mentally wrap them up in love. Picture a beam of pink light covering them from head to toe! It doesn’t matter what it looks like to you – just send out the love.

– Stuck in traffic? Send out love to everyone in the cars around you.

– Dealing with a nasty person at your job or in line at Starbucks? Stop thinking about how annoying they are and instead quietly and mentally wrap them up in love.

– Parents annoying you? Siblings being pests? Take a deep breath and blow some love at them.

– Not getting along with a friend? Chalk it up to them having a bad day and throw some loving thoughts their way.

Don’t go into this with any expectations – that’s not how this works. But, by the end of the day, you will find that you’ve actually had a pretty awesome day and I promise, whether you know it or not, the love you sent out was received.

Love. That’s the meaning of life.

Share this experiment with others and let me know how you do!




The Top 3 Things Your Little Voice Says 2 Make U Not Love U

love summer

Love is not a thing. Love is who you are. If you aren’t loving yourself it’s going to be hard to be loved by others and to truly love others. Unfortunately there is a little voice in your head that is always going to try to undermine your confidence. Here are 3 classic things your little voice says that causes you to not fully love and accept yourself and what you can say in response.

1. You’re not good enough.

Surely your little voice has said this to you before right?

You’re not good enough to be friends with him/her.

You’re not good enough to try out for that team or to join that club.

You’re not good enough to try a new activity.

It doesn’t matter what the words are but if you’re hesitating to do something it could be because you’re hearing this message. In order to love yourself you need to believe you’re good enough.

Tell Your Little Voice: And who do you think you are? I am good enough. I love me.

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Happiness Starts with Being True 2 Yourself

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. -ee cummings

nose ring girl b&w

In a previous post I shared my cheat sheet to loving yourself which includes the six steps below.

1. Know yourself.

2. Be true to yourself.

3. Accept yourself.

4. Be gentle with yourself.

5. Value yourself.

6. Invest in yourself.

Let’s talk about #2 – Be true to yourself.

First, let’s recap why it’s important to love yourself. It’s pretty simple. Until you learn to love and be happy with yourself you will not be able to love someone else and you won’t be able to accept their love of you. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss out on love because I can’t figure out a way to love myself. As I discussed in another post, knowing yourself is the first step to loving yourself. After all, it’s hard to love someone you don’t even know right?

The next step after you know yourself is to actually be true to yourself. So what does that really mean?

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L.O.V.E. Who Do I Love? Me! Me!

sleepy puppy

Sounds pretty self-centered right? I love me?

In my last post I talked about the 5th secret which is that life is all about love but what I didn’t tell you is that love actually needs to start with loving yourself. Let’s be clear about something though. I’m not suggesting that you become some kind of ego maniac who thinks they are better than everyone else. If you’ve been reading along with me you know that if you feel that way it’s actually your ego at work which is not the real you. No, what I’m talking about is deeper and more real than that.

Love is one of the most incredible things we have in our existence. It is pure, warm, comforting, complete and filled with joy. You know this about love when you experience it from others or when you see it’s existence in the world or when you look at a puppy. You can’t help but feel all fuzzy and warm inside when you experience love. So why wouldn’t you want to love yourself?

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The 5th Secret for Teens: It’s a 4 Letter Word But it’s Not #%&@

arms love

Oh #%&@

Ok, the 5th Secret is actually not that kind of four-letter word but let’s face it, we all have moments when pulling out that four lettered word seems like the only appropriate response to the situation (Just don’t tell your parents you curse…we like to think that you never do and never will and will also never admit that you learned it from us.) Anyway, I’m here to suggest that there is another type of response to those situations that also involves a four-letter word and that word is LOVE.

In fact the 5th Secret is very simple – Life is All About Love. 

Sound too simple? It probably also sounds very hippie-let’s-all-sit-around-in-a-circle-and-play-guitar-and-hold-hands-while-we-wish-for-world-peace too. At least it does to me. But that’s not the kind of love I’m talking about. I’m also definitely not talking about romantic love which is wonderful and important but I don’t expect you to romantically love everyone (plus it would be weird and I’m not sure exactly how you’d handle all those relationships and heartbreaks but I digress…)

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