The Secret Handbook 4 Teens

Top 10 Teen Examples When U Know Your Ego is at Work

brain blah blah blah

So, in my last post I revealed the 1st Secret for Teens which is:

Secret #1: You are not the little voice in your head.

That little voice/your ego is so chattery and yabbery it can sometimes be hard to know when you’re barely hearing it  versus when you’re listening and reacting to it.

Here are some examples of when your ego/little voice is at work and when you’re all ears:

1. You text your friend and she doesn’t immediately text you back.

Your little voice says: “She didn’t text you back. She’s probably mad at you. What did you do? I bet she’s actually talking about you to someone else right now.”

You: Spend the rest of the night worrying about it and check your phone every 5 seconds.

2. You put on a new outfit that is a little different than what you normally wear but you’re pretty excited about it because you’re trying to be more fashion forward.

Your little voice says: “Why are you wearing that? That’s not your normal style. People are probably going to wonder who she/he thinks she/he is.”

You: Change your clothes, stuff your new outfit in the back of the closet and never wear it again. (And probably get scolded by your parents for not wearing the new clothes they bought you.)

3. You hear they are having tryouts for a sport team/theater production and you get excited because you’re always wanted to play that sport/be in a play.

Your little voice says: “You’re not good enough or talented enough to make that team/be in that play. You’d probably screw up and everyone would laugh at you. You’d better think twice about trying out.”

You: Squash that dream, convinced you’re just saving yourself the heartbreak of rejection.

4. You set a goal to get good grades this year, especially in the one class that you know is going to be pretty tough and challenging.

Your little voice says: “You are totally not smart enough to ace any of these classes. You should just leave that to the smart people and focus on something else. It will be easier than putting in the hard work and failing anyway. Maybe just post another selfie showing off your new hairstyle.”

You: Don’t bother studying much and only do the bare minimum in your classes resulting in barely average grades (Oh and you probably get scolded by your parents again but that was one heck of a selfie.)

5. You open up the latest version of your favorite magazine and see perfectly (photoshopped) models and celebrities.

Your little voice says: “You will never be that thin, fashionable, pretty, handsome, cool, popular, exciting, blah blah blah.”

You: Continue to look through the pictures and turn the pages all the while feeling worse and worse about yourself.

6. You get up in the morning and go to put on your favorite pair of jeans and you can barely button them. You instantly resolve to eat better and get back to exercising more regularly. Besides, all the junk food was making your face break out anyway.

Your little voice says: “Fatty. Exercise isn’t going to make a difference. You might as well just keep eating because it’s too late to do anything now.”

You: Go into the kitchen and eat a donut (Mmmm….donuts….) and a diet soda (which, as we all know, cancels out the donut.)

7. It’s time to think about college and you’ve always dreamed about going to a certain school. Your mom went there and it sounds like it was an amazing experience. You know it’s a tough school to get into but you figure you’ll apply anyway.

Your little voice says: You don’t really think you can get into that school do you? Your grades are not good enough, you don’t have enough activities on your resume and only really smart people go there.

You: Decide not to apply. The rejection would hurt too much and you don’t want your parents to be disappointed.

8. There are tons of texts going around with the latest gossip (and photo!) about this stuck up girl in your school. Everyone who gets it immediately sends it to 3 or 4 new people and everyone is talking about it. You don’t really want to get involved because it seems mean and you wouldn’t want someone talking about you like that (plus if you get caught you’ll get scolded by your parents.)

Your Little Voice Says: You should just forward it. It will only take 2 seconds and then you can tell everyone that you saw it and shared it.

You: Forward the text and quickly turn your phone off for the rest of the day. You deny knowing anything about it when the school sends out a note to all the parents telling them what is going on.

9. You have a few classes with this kid who is just not popular and always sits by himself at lunch. You think that maybe you should reach out to him because you know you wouldn’t want to sit alone at lunch.

Your little voice says: Whoa whoa whoa! If you sit with that loser all your friends are going to think you’re a loser too. It is SO not worth the risk. That kid probably just likes sitting alone anyway.

You: Don’t approach the kid or sit with him at lunch but deep down you feel bad about not doing something.

10. You dream of being a photographer/cupcake maker/astronaut/race car driver/model/doctor/nurse/sports agent/writer/scientist/chef/boat captain (you get the point). You dream about it all the time. You imagine what life would be like if you could live that dream. You know deep down that you can do it if you just put your mind to it.

Your little voice says: Um, really? Seriously? There is NO WAY someone like you could do that. You’ll be lucky to just get a good job somewhere some day and besides, there is WAY too much risk in pursuing something like that. What if you fail????

You: Agree that you probably could never do something like that and squash that dream really deep down to your toes where you tread all over it smooshing it into a flat dream pancake.


As you can see, pretty much nothing good comes from listening to your out of control little voice/ego. The next secret is learning how to SHUT IT UP!

Please share with your friends so they too learn about that little voice. Why you ask? Well, 1) because if you start to control your little voice and they don’t, they’re going to be really really annoying to be around and 2) it’s just the right thing to do. 🙂

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