The Secret Handbook 4 Teens

So I Should Hate Myself? Is That What You’re Saying?

squirrel mirror

With all the talk on this blog, and in general, about how horrible the ego is and how your little voice never has anything good to say, you might be getting a little confused. You might be thinking that you should hate that part of yourself. So, I want to be clear about something, you don’t need to hate your ego* or think that it makes you a horrible person, it’s actually an important part of you. What’s key, however, is realizing that it sometimes speaks so loudly,  it can become the voice we listen to the most and it has been known for giving bad advice.

Let’s look at examples of the ego at work in both a good and bad way:

Good way: That moment when, without even thinking about it,  your hand shoots up in class to answer a question because inside you know “I got this. I totally know this.” That’s an example of your ego giving you the push and confidence you need.

Bad way: That moment when your friend doesn’t text you back and you think “She/he must be mad at me. What did I do? Did I do something wrong? I’d better text her/him 16 more times to see if they reply.” That’s an example of your ego undermining your confidence and self-worth by planting doubt and insecurity in your mind. Imagine if you listened to that ego all the time! Lots of people do and let me tell you something, those are the people you usually instinctively dislike whether you realize it or not.

Hopefully these examples help you to see that your ego is still part of who you are and it’s not something you need to hate about yourself. It is, however, something you need to become aware of now so it doesn’t take over. (Ah yes, there’s that term awareness again. Sorry to keep beating a dead horse but it really is a key concept.)

*Important Note/Disclaimer: Many adults believe that me telling you about your ego is a waste of time because all of us tend to be pretty ego-driven when we’re young. It’s not our fault. We haven’t had a lot of life experiences (good and/or bad) to know anything different so we all pretty much follow that little voice in our head. They key is to learn not to ONLY listen to that little voice in your head – that’s when you miss out on your True Self.

This discussion about the ego or your False Self, is really one of the big reasons that I am writing this handbook and a really key concept for you to grasp. I believe that you actually can understand this now and that by learning to become aware of your ego NOW, not later when you’re older but NOW, you have a much better shot at figuring out who you really are now and in the future.


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