The Secret Handbook 4 Teens

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that something deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”

e.e. cummings

Did You Know Your Suffering Makes You Beautiful?

sad beauty

The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Have you ever noticed this about people? Maybe you know someone who has struggled with an illness or has lost a loved one or who has experienced some other kind of hardship. There’s something different about them isn’t there? They might not see it in themselves but we pick up on the energy shift that has occurred in them.

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The 5th Secret for Teens: It’s a 4 Letter Word But it’s Not #%&@

arms love

Oh #%&@

Ok, the 5th Secret is actually not that kind of four-letter word but let’s face it, we all have moments when pulling out that four lettered word seems like the only appropriate response to the situation (Just don’t tell your parents you curse…we like to think that you never do and never will and will also never admit that you learned it from us.) Anyway, I’m here to suggest that there is another type of response to those situations that also involves a four-letter word and that word is LOVE.

In fact the 5th Secret is very simple – Life is All About Love. 

Sound too simple? It probably also sounds very hippie-let’s-all-sit-around-in-a-circle-and-play-guitar-and-hold-hands-while-we-wish-for-world-peace too. At least it does to me. But that’s not the kind of love I’m talking about. I’m also definitely not talking about romantic love which is wonderful and important but I don’t expect you to romantically love everyone (plus it would be weird and I’m not sure exactly how you’d handle all those relationships and heartbreaks but I digress…)

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happy dog

“The real question is whether you want to be happy regardless of what happens. The purpose of your life is to enjoy and learn from your experiences. You were not put on Earth to suffer. You’re not helping anybody by being miserable.”

– Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul

(and ps – this book, The Untethered Soul, is a little secret that adults have been keeping from you. It’s totally understandable, totally something you’ll relate to and pretty life changing. I mean, if it was good enough for Oprah…)

straw ego

The human ego prefers anything, just about anything, to falling, or changing, or dying. The ego is that part of you that loves the status quo – even when it’s not working. It attaches to past and present and fears the future.

– Richard Rohr

I love this quote because it reminds us that the ego is the little part of you that doesn’t want to change.

Listen to the chatter of your little voice as an example of this. Your little voice/ego is always looking backwards and reliving the past or imagining the future. It imagines both good and bad outcomes for the future but even those imagined outcomes are based on your own past experiences. I mean, let’s be honest here. Unless you can actually see into the future, you have no idea what the future holds and yet our egos like to spend time there.

For some reason, the ego just cannot stand being in the present moment. It feels vulnerable. Unsafe. Unsure. It becomes threatened by who you really are…by your True Self.

So, once again, we come back to awareness and present moment awareness as ego squishing tools.

Take a minute. Heck, take 30 seconds. Oh hell, take ONE SECOND. Seriously, take just one second and be aware. Be aware of your breath. Be aware of your inhale and the moment between that and your exhale. In just that one second you start to quiet your ego. In just one second, you start to become more of your True Self. Breathe.

 

cold breath
Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again.
      ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

One kind word can change someone’s entire day (including your own).

kindness grafitti

Start your Monday off on the right foot by being kind to someone today.

Tell someone you like their outfit.

Ask them how their weekend was.

Simply smile as you pass them in the hallway.

Not only will they feel better, you will too.

 

 

If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It’s very important to be aware of them every time they come up.

– Deepak Chopra

 

 

“There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind – you are the one who hears it.”

– Michael Singer

It’s Monday. The start of a new week. It’s sorta like New Year’s Day! Resolve to make the most of it. Take a deep breath. Start over. Take a risk. Live big.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore, Dream, Discover.

–Mark Twain