The Secret Handbook 4 Teens

It’s My Birthday & I Can B P*ssed if I Want To (or: Why Being Your Best Self is Really Hard)

bday candles

The other day I revealed the 6th Secret which is to Never Take Anything Personally Because It’s Never About You. I truly do believe that life becomes easier to live if you can truly apply this secret successfully every day. The times when I have applied it to situations in my own life have been incredibly freeing. That said, it is very very hard to do (b/c our egos get the best of us) so I thought I’d share an example of how I failed miserably at applying it to my life yesterday (even carrying over to today.)

Yesterday was my birthday. I got amazing gifts from my husband and teen, lots of cards with heartfelt messages and tons of Facebook posts from friends both old and new. I spent the day feeling incredibly blessed until I got into bed last night and started tallying up all the people who DID NOT contact me to say happy birthday. This list includes a few of my oldest and supposedly closest friends AND one of my nephews and two of my nieces. As I lay there all the happy feelings about the day were quickly replaced by feelings of hurt, sadness, self-pity and, I’m not going to lie, thoughts of retribution detailing how I would NOT be contacting them on their birthdays. (Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you won’t still act and think like a child.)

But, being well-versed in all the secrets and big thoughts I share with you guys on this blog, I knew I needed to not take it personally. I knew that it had nothing to do with me. I recognized that folks are busy, they have their own lives, jobs, kids of their own, sick spouses, etc. etc. etc. I took a deep breath, thought about it, admitted to myself that yes, my ego was hurt and then quickly went back to being p*ssed off.  As you can likely tell, this feeling has even carried over to this morning.

I tell you all of this because I want you to know that even those of us who are quite invested in their spiritual and self-growth can fail miserably when real life intervenes. It’s very very easy for me and others to tell you to:

Don’t take it personally.

Don’t listen to the little voice in  your head.

You are not your ego.

Practice awareness.

Stay in the Now.

Sit with your sadness.

It’s also very easy to let all of this fly out the window when your feelings get hurt.

At the end of the day, I know that I will not sit and stew in my feelings of hurt for as long as I could because I know better. Because I try to practice all of these tips and tools myself I know I will recover more quickly and hopefully won’t be as upset when the same thing happens next year or when something else crops up that tests my ego and True Self.

So what does all of this mean to you and why am I sharing? I’m sharing because I want you to know that you will fail to apply these secrets to your life. You will cry when your feelings are hurt. You will feel sad when you are rejected by someone or something. You will feel angry when you are denied something you deserve. You will go through all of life’s ups and downs regardless of the secrets you hold or the knowledge you keep.

But that’s ok. In fact, it’s good. It means you’re alive. It means you’re learning. It means you will be stronger. Smarter. It means that while your ego is still a power to reckon with, the real you will shine in the end.  So learn the secrets, work through them, try to apply them as often as you can. It’s still worth the effort and at the end of the day, you can still be p*ssed if people forget your birthday. I know I am.   🙂



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