The Secret Handbook 4 Teens

Want 2 B Attractive 2 Others? U Better Start With Yourself. 3 Easy Ways 2 Value U.

sunset people

You will be as much value to others
as you have been to yourself.

In this little mini-series of mine I’ve been breaking down the top six things you need to do in order to love yourself. If you’ve been following along you’ll know that it’s time to talk about #5 – Value Yourself.

1. Know yourself.

2. Be true to yourself.

3. Accept yourself.

4. Be gentle with yourself.

5. Value yourself.

6. Invest in yourself.

We all certainly value a lot of things in life don’t we? We value our family, our friends, and our stuff. Oh and our phones. We really value our phones. Imagine if you valued yourself as much as your phone?  Mind blowing.

It turns out that your worth to others actually depends on how much you value yourself. People can figure this out pretty quickly too. It’s like they can just sense whether or not you value yourself  and if they sense that you don’t, you can be sure that they won’t either. Trust me, there are some pretty crappy people out there who will be more than happy to take advantage of you one way or another if they realize you don’t care enough about yourself to stop them.

In fact, a good way to tell if someone really cares about you is if they actually want to help you value yourself. Let’s say you say to your best friend: “I’m so dumb. I’m never going to get a good grade in this class.” A true friend will jump to your defense and say, “Yes you will! You’re so smart! You need to see this in yourself and own it!” A false friend will just sort of shrug and say “Eh, you’ll be fine.” I’m making up the dialogue obviously but think about it. Aren’t the people in your life who mean the most to you the ones who help you to see the best in you? I hope so!

It turns out there are some obvious steps you can take to start placing more value in yourself. Don’t get me wrong, the steps are obvious but not easy but just being aware of them goes a long way to starting to increase your self-esteem.

1. Value Yourself in Relationships

This one is #1 for a reason.  I promise you, if you do not value yourself – if you let someone treat you badly, walk all over you, control you, tell you what to do (and if you listen!) – you can be sure that this relationship will not last.

Let me repeat this so I know you’ve heard it:

You will be dumped.

You know why? Because they will know that you don’t value yourself and it’s just not sexy.  What’s sexy is when you’re strong, when you know who you are and you stand up for yourself. That’s the person that people want to date and be in a relationship with. I’m not saying you have to be obnoxious about how great you think you are but if you know it on the inside, they will know it on the outside. Trust me on this.

2. Value Your Skills and Talents

I don’t care if you’re the best athlete, student, video game player, artist, singer, writer…whatever it is that you’re good at – own it. Again, I’m not suggesting that you need to be stuck up about your mad skills but a healthy sense of self-esteem is really important. Oh and did I mention that it’s sexy to own your skills? Think about it. Why do you love Austin Mahone, Justin Bieber, Selena, One Direction? (Ok, besides their looks). It’s because they are good at something and they own it! You know who these people want to date? It’s not people who don’t believe in themselves. It’s people who value their own skills and talents. Sexy.  Again, trust me on this.

3. Value Your Body

How you value and think about your body is really really obvious to everyone else. Have you ever met someone who might not even seem that good looking to you and yet you feel attracted to them for some reason? It’s because they value themselves inside and out! If you look in the mirror and tell yourself: I am too fat, thin, ugly, hairy, pimply, weak, light, dark and then walk out the door it will show. Your head won’t be high. Your energy will be off. People notice this stuff and react to it. You react to it. Take care of yourself and find something to value you about your body. It doesn’t matter what it is. Love it. Tell yourself  you love it and walk out the door like you’re the next Ariana Grande or Nash Grier. People will notice and you will too.

Hopefully I’m not telling you anything that you didn’t already know or sense. It’s really pretty simple. If you don’t feel happy about you, it will be hard to be happy about anything or anyone else. You are responsible for you.


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