The Secret Handbook 4 Teens

Hate Writing Essays? Here’s a Tool 2 Make it Hurt Less

For some, hearing a teacher say, “For homework you need to write an essay…” causes immediate anxiety, angst, fear and dread. As a former dissertation coach who helped students write the dreaded dissertation keeping them from their PhDs, I promise you that the advice I gave to them is the same advice I will give to you. I also promise that this advice will be just as relevant now as it will be in college, grad school or anywhere else you’re asked to write something.

Ready for the advice? Ok, here it is:

Learn to outline. 

Don’t start without an outline. 

Always make an outline. 

Did I mention the outline? 

Sure everyone tells you that you should outline a paper before you try to start writing but so few people actually do this. Here’s the thing about an outline. With only a little bit of effort and using the bare minimum of words, you can create yourself a map and guide to where you need to go. Outlining helps you to get your thoughts on track and, because you haven’t invested minutes and hours crafting the perfect sentence you may never use, you have the freedom to sketch, think, brainstorm, cut, paste and scribble. An outline is pure freedom. It’s just thinking on paper. But, eventually something starts to creep out of all the mess and before you know it, an actual map starts to emerge. This map is key because this map becomes your “To Do” list for writing the rest of the essay.

Here’s what to do:

  • Sit down and just write freely. Don’t worry about format, spelling or anything else. Just write out your thoughts (even if those thoughts are “I don’t know what to write. I hate writing essays. I hate my teacher for making me write essays.” Get it all out and eventually you will start to write about your actual topic.
  •  Once you are done free writing, look back at what you’ve put together. Are there any good ideas in there? Anything to keep that you could use? If so, great. If not, go ahead and write freely again. Repeat this process until  you actually start to see a theme starting to emerge with some coherent thoughts.
  • Now start to take those chunks of writing and put them into a more specific outline (this is your map) for your intro, middle sections and conclusion. Don’t try to start writing from this just yet. You still have more work to do. Once you have those sections starting to take place go ahead and continue to flesh them out even more so your outline because fatter and longer and more organized.
  • Eventually you will know when it’s time to start writing but don’t try to jump into this process too soon because you will just become frustrated and quickly lose your way. Ideally, your outline will become your “To Do” list because you can break it down into tasks (and I mean very specific tasks) like 1) Write sentence for introduction. 2) Write second sentence and include quote. 3) Read section of book again to help with transition into main thought. All these little tasks on your “To Do” are super important for making progress once you have your outline but that’s another post!

The next time you’re asked to write an essay or paper, do me a favor and please please please think about using an outline. It might seem like more work to begin with but it’s a really simple but powerful tool for getting your thoughts together and giving yourself some structure to move forward with ease. I promise!

Now you tell me, what other essay writing tactics work for you? Do you use outlines? How else do your approach your writing assignments?

Afraid of Change? Here R Five Ways 4 Teens 2 Deal With It

The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. -Einstein

If you don’t do well with change you likely aren’t going to do well with being a teenager. It sounds harsh I know but change is pretty much the only thing we can be certain of in life and your teen years are chock full of it. Everything changes when you are a teen. Your body changes, your mind changes (sometimes several times a minute it seems), your friends change, your interests change, your viewpoints change and it definitely seems like your parents change their minds all the time (though at some times they likely won’t budge and you wish they would change their minds!).

Here’s what I want you to remember though when you are struggling with some kind of change in your life.

Change is good. I promise, it really is.

Here’s a few tips to help you deal with changes when they pop up.

1. Take a deep breath, step back and really look at what’s happening. It might not be as bad as you think.

2. Try to look at change as an opportunity rather than a challenge. How you view change impacts how you deal with it.

3. Say yes instead of no. Fighting change might not work but being open to a new path can be invigorating & exciting.

4. Stay in the present moment. Change feels scary so we immediately start trying to predict what the future is going to look like. Why? The only future you can imagine is based on your past experiences and that might not be the best predictor of the future.

5. Realize, like Einstein did (and he was a really smart guy) that how you deal with change is a reflection of your intelligence. Smart people deal with change well so why not be smart about it? Sticking your head in the sand isn’t going to work so suck it up and face change with confidence, calm and peace. You got this.

Now you tell me. How do you deal with change? What are some big changes you’ve gone through during your teen years that seemed monumental and life changing? How did you deal with it? How can I help you live happy (yes, even when change is in the air!)

A New Tool 2 Help U B Grateful

If you read this blog at all you know that I’m passionate about practicing gratefulness as a way to be happy. I’ve always liked the website but they launched a new site and I highly recommend that you check it out. There are lots of tools, links, resources and even a place to start a private online journal where you can record your gratefulness journey. As I’ve discussed before in this space, I have a gratitude journal that I write in every night. I list three things I’m grateful for that day and I’ve been doing it for about two years. I have to say, now that I look back on it, I really do think that it’s helped me to be a more positive person and to appreciate my life more. It’s hard to be cranky when you force yourself to sit down and take stock of three good things in your life or in life in general. Heck, sometimes I’m just grateful that I got through another day but that counts too! Check out the new site today and start to live happy!

Devotion. Dedication. Loyalty. Pick Your Word But Do It 4 Your Dream.


To succeed in your mission, you must have single-minded devotion to your goal. – A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

Passion. Desire. Faith. All critical components for achieving your dreams but we can’t forget this very last critical ingredient – devotion.

Devotion (noun) is defined as  a :  the act of devotion <devotion of time and energy>,  b : the fact or state of being ardently dedicated and loyal.

Call it devotion. Call it dedication. Call it loyalty. Use whatever words resonates the most with you but make sure you’re devoted to your dream.

What exactly does it mean to be devoted though?

It means putting your dream first and being loyal to it (much like you would be loyal to any relationship or promise.) It means taking the time to pursue your dream and making time to work on it. It means you’re invested in your dream and you’re willing to do whatever is necessary to keep it moving. It means not letting other things stand in your way or distract you from your dream.

Devotion isn’t simple and it’s not just a word . Devotion means work. Sometimes hard work. Some might try to convince you otherwise but if you look at anyone who has pursued a dream, they will tell you that there’s always hard work involved.

Ask yourself: are you devoted to your dream or are you willing to give up on it if something else distracts you or gets in the way?

Start to pay attention to your level of devotion. A lack of devotion doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re pursing the wrong dream but it may mean you need to look at and perhaps shift your priorities.  Then again, it might mean that it’s not the right dream for you and that’s ok too. Look deep into your heart and think about what you’re devoted to and why. See if you can apply that same level of devotion and dedication to your dream.

Work hard and don’t give up.

Be loyal.

Be dedicated.

Be devoted.

Why Doubt is Like A Thief Stealing Your Dreams


Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase. – Martin Luther King, Jr. 

We’ve talked about knowing your moral code and we’ve talked about passion and desire as necessary to achieving your dreams but we can’t forget about faith. While we often think about the word faith in terms of religion, the first and simplest definition of faith is as follows:

faith – noun. 1. complete trust or confidence in someone or something

“Complete trust”, to me, is the really critical part of the definition. A lack of faith or worry or doubt or just the smallest thought of “I’ll never be able to do this” is enough to ensure that you probably won’t.

Doubt undermines your dreams and believe me, doubt can creep in without you even knowing. It’s sort of like a thief sneaking in at night to steal what’s really valuable to you but in this case, it’s slowly stealing your dreams.

So how do you keep the faith in your dreams and in yourself?

Part of it is stopping all the negative chatter in your mind. If you let your little voice take over it will very quickly tell you that you’re not good enough, your dreams are ridiculous and there is no way you’ll ever make them come true.

Here’s where you have to do some work. You need to 1) become aware of that little voice and 2) replace its negative chatter with positive self-talk.

When you feel yourself starting to doubt, change the conversation. Tell yourself you can do it, you will do it, that you have a plan for doing it. Picture it coming true. Imagine yourself living your dream and all that it entails. Just by replacing the negative with the positive you give yourself a fighting chance and you start to replace doubt with faith. You can’t get lazy about it though. Just doing it once in awhile means doubt is winning so you have to be like a cop trying to stop a thief. Be vigilant!

Don’t let doubt chip away at your dreams. It’s such a silly reason to give up.

Believe in your dreams. Believe in yourself. Believe you can do anything you can set your mind to.




The Gratitude Journal: One Simple Tool, Life Changing Results


“If you focus on what you don’t have you will never ever have enough.” Oprah Winfrey

Oprah thinks that keeping a gratitude journal is one of the most important things she’s ever done and if it’s good enough for Oprah shouldn’t it be good enough for you? But seriously, I too keep a gratitude journal and while I’ve mentioned this in another post, it bears repeating because it really does change your perspective on life and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy and who doesn’t want that?

It’s really really easy. Here, let me break it down for you.

What is a gratitude journal?

A gratitude journal is simply a place where you write down things you’re grateful for every day. There are two really important things in what I just said. The first is that you actually really do need to write them down. It’s not enough to just think them because our thoughts are fleeting and words have power. The second important piece to this is that you do it every day. Don’t beat yourself up about it if you don’t get to it every day (that sorta defeats the purpose) but getting into the habit of being grateful sticks and you almost become addicted to the good feelings it gives you. I write in my gratitude journal every night but you could jot things down throughout the day. It’s completely up to you.

What do I need to be grateful for?

This is the best part of a gratitude journal – you get to be grateful for anything at all! You can be grateful for really big things or really small things. I’m sometimes just grateful for having a job (on days when I really don’t feel like going to my job) but on other days, I find myself being grateful scientists who invented life-changing things like antibiotics (especially when I’m sick). Small fuzzy animals make frequent appearances on the pages of my journal. Big or small. Funny or serious. Fuzzy or scaly. The choice is completely up to you.

How many things do I need to be grateful for every day?

Yup, you guessed it. That’s also completely up to you! I write down three things. Oprah suggests five. Some days I struggle to think of even one. Don’t stress about it. Heck, don’t even put a number on. Just write what you’re grateful for at that moment or things you noticed throughout the day. It’s supposed to be fun so keep it lighthearted.

So, why are you still sitting here? This post is done.

Go start being grateful. Go on. Get out of here.


Trying 2 Practice What I Preach (The Good, Bad & Ugly)

crying eye

Hi guys!

Sorry I’ve been absent from the blogging world for awhile but my parents are 82 and 88 years old and last week they were BOTH admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. I don’t live in the same state as them so I quickly packed up my bags and headed home where I immediately entered a very stressful, emotional and exhausting situation. I’m happy to report that they are both now home and slowly recovering but what I really wanted to share was my real world examples how hard it can be to put all these secrets and tools into action when you really need them.

To deal with an emotional crisis, where a crisis really can be anything that’s getting you very upset, my advice has been to sit with the emotions, to feel the emotions, to meditate and to try to stay in the present moment or the Now. In particular, staying in the present moment or the “Now” has always stood out to me as one of the most important tools. Basically it’s not worrying about the past or the future and not letting yourself imagine some worst-case scenarios that your mind starts to believe. It’s just staying where you are and dealing with what you know.

I’m here to tell you that it was really really really hard to practice what I preach but I’m also here to tell you why that’s ok.

Staying in the Now when your parents are both sick is really tough. Your mind starts to imagine the worst. You worry about what tomorrow will bring. You worry about what you will do if one of them should die. You wonder if they will get sicker. You even start planning funerals in your head. I know you don’t need more examples of the crazy and upsetting stuff I was thinking (and I know you have your own upsetting stuff to deal with) but suffice it to say, my mind was a whirling mess of worst-case painful scenarios. Even while I was doing this though, deep down I knew I had the tools I needed and I knew what I needed to do to stop. That’s where the work comes in and where the rubber meets the road as they say.

Let’s face it. It’s easy to say “Stay in the Now!” when nothing is wrong. It’s easy to say “You need to meditate.” when you can’t even take a deep breath. It’s easy to say “Don’t listen to your little voice.” when your little voice is screaming, crying and taking up all the space in your head. The good thing is that just trying to remember and use these tools and secrets immediately helps you feel just a little better. Trying to use them also makes them easier to find and use the next time.

Knowing that I needed to stop and breathe forced me to do it. Knowing that I needed to stop imagining the worst made me slow down and at least try to stay in the present moment. Knowing that I needed to meditate made me at least close my eyes for a moment to try to take a short mental break.

Was I successful at this all the time? Ha! That’s funny! Absolutely not. But, it helped a little bit and I know next time it will help a little more.  The same goes for you. These tools can start to help you even if you just know that they’re out there and you remind yourself to at least try to use them.

So breathe, meditate, silence your little voice and try stay in the present moment.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.




A Tool 4 School: Pump Up the Bass, Pump Up Your Power


Music can change the world because it can change people. – Bono

What’s your theme song? You know what I’m talking about. What’s the song that you play when you really want to pump yourself up? Oh come on…you know you have one. If you don’t, you might want to think about getting one and I would encourage you to make it with lots of bass.  It’s an easy tool 4 school to help you change your mindset and pump up your power.

What am I talking about? A recent study from Northwestern University, summarized in Huff Post, reported that “Participants who listened to [the] heavy-bass music reported greater feelings of power than those who listened to the light-bass music.” According to the researchers: “People can hear specific music components that express a sense of power, and mimic those feelings internally.” Why wouldn’t you want to take advantage of this?

I think we all instinctively know that music helps to change our attitude (which is a good reminder to avoid sad, sappy, break up love songs when you’re already down in the dumps) but why not use it to our benefit? Before a big test, a big game or a big moments, plug in those ear buds, pump up the bass and pump up your power! (Disclaimer: You should never listen to really loud music for a really long time because you’ll damage your ears. There. Now your parents can feel better about this advice.)

So I’ll ask it again: what’s your theme song or power building song? I’m pretty much addicted to Turn Down for What at the moment but I’d love some new suggestions!

A Tool 4 School: Be Open


A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it’s not open.  – Frank Zappa

With a new school year starting your mind and body are going to be inundated with lots of new experiences, people, places, opportunities and challenges. It can all sort of be overwhelming as you get pushed and pulled in so many different directions.

Here’s one tool for dealing with all this newness: Be Open.

– When you meet someone new be open to who they are and don’t judge. Don’t make a decision about someone before getting to know them based on the way they look, dress or the way others have categorized them to you. Make up your own mind.  You might make a new friend or, at the very least, there will at least be another friendly face to say hi to as you move through your day.

– When you encounter a new concept in class be open to learning it and don’t shut down because it doesn’t mesh with your previous ideas of what you think you know. The greater the diversity of ideas you entertain, the more your mind grows and the more you grow as a person.

– When you’re given a new opportunity to try something new like a class, a sport, an activity or even a new way of thinking, be open to at least trying it once. So often we miss out on opportunities because the little voice in our heads tells us ahead of time that we won’t like it, we won’t be good at it or that people will laugh at us if we try and fail. How will you know any of this is true if you don’t at least try? Who knows, you may actually be an incredible basketball player but if you never pick up a ball, you’ll never know.

Never assume. Try. Be open.

I leave you with this quote to sum it up:

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” – Isaac Asimov


Nervous About Starting High School? Here’s 1 Simple Tool 2 Get U Thru

dog smile

“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.”  – Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 

I remember how nervous I felt about starting high school. Would I have classes with the friends I knew? Would I meet new friends? Who would I sit with for lunch? Did we have to take showers after gym? (That might have been the most frightening question and no, we didn’t.) Even though I knew deep down that it would be fine and that millions of others have gone through the same thing, it was still scary.

Fortunately for you, I have the one tool that will help you on your first day and it’s really easy.


I know, I know. It sounds silly and you might be rolling your eyes but bear with me.

Everyone is nervous on the first day whether they admit it or not but some may be more nervous than others. Imagine how much better you can make someone feel just by smiling at them. In most cases people will smile back and that will most certainly make you feel less nervous too.

A smile tells people “Hey, I’m friendly and approachable!” and it will also make you seem and feel more confident. Before you know it, a smile starts a conversation and the person sitting next to you in the cafeteria becomes a friend and is no longer a stranger.

Try it before you start school if you don’t believe me. Smile when you pass someone on the street or in a store. Smile at the barista who hands you your coffee. Smile at your parents (which might make them nervous so be careful about this!) Then, on your first day of school, smile at the new people you meet and watch strangers transform into friends.

Ew! Is that a giant weed growing out of your ear? 3 Easy Steps 2 Cleaning Up the Garden of Your Mind


A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind. – James Allen

While the quote above might sound kind of old fashioned I actually like that about it because it just goes to show that this concept is not new.

I was thinking about forgiveness this morning and how, by not forgiving, we create this block in our head and hearts that keeps us from being happy. Non-forgiveness looking like a nasty weed is a pretty obvious jump from there so let’s go with it in the spirit of summer, flowers and fresh veggies.

Basically, your mind is a garden that is going to grow whatever you plant in it. It’s either going to grow lovely things like flowers and veggies or it’s going to grow nasty weeds. What you can be assured of is that it’s definitely going to grow something.

So, what are you growing in the garden of your mind? What does it look like in there and how can you grow useful things and get rid of the weeds?

Here are three simple steps to cleaning up the garden of your mind:

1. Become aware of what’s growing. 

Most of us don’t think too much about our thoughts because we’re too busy thinking them (and let’s not forget about that little voice sowing seeds of doubt, guilt and insecurity all the time). The first step to cleaning out your garden brain is to step back and take a look at it. Look long and hard. Look closely. Do an inventory. What’s growing there? What are you planting? Do you fill your brain with nasty weedy thoughts or do you fill it with positive flowers? You are the farmer of your brain. Start paying attention to what you’re planting or what you planted.

2. Pluck out the weeds.

Now, if you’ve had any experience with gardening at all you know that you can tear up a weed and it’s probably just going to come back. So, you need to make sure you really remove this weed. How do you do that? Focus on it. Figure out where it’s coming from. Write it down on a piece of paper. Crumple it up. Flush it down the toilet. Burn it (safely of course). Thank it for it’s weediness and wish it well.  You need to make sure that it’s really gone and then you need to be vigilant about making sure it doesn’t come back. If your thoughts start going back to that weed become aware that you’re doing it and stop yourself. Remember, you are the farmer and you control the garden.

3. Plant new things. 

Now that you’ve gotten rid of the weeds it’s time to fill your garden with stuff you like. These are the positive thoughts, the dreams, the goals, the things that make you smile and the things you’re grateful for (now is a good time to practice gratitude and forgiveness.) You’ll need to keep an eye out for weeds and you’ll need to fertilize the stuff you planted so it’s going to take some work but again, you’re in control of what you plant and what you grow.

Don’t get me wrong, I get that this garden example may seem a little silly and hokey but people use it as an example for a reason. The visual of giant nasty poisonous weeds versus pretty flowers helps to bring awareness to what’s going on in your brain. It reminds you that you’re in control of what gets planted and what grows there.

Maybe it’s time to work on that green thumb?




Forgive Yourself: Let it go. Fall down. Meet the real you.

blond teen

It’s hard enough to forgive others when they’ve hurt you but it’s even harder to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself means admitting you’re not perfect, that  you’re not 100% innocent and that you have some things to learn. These are tough concepts to wrestle with even on a good day never mind when you’ve actually done something wrong. And let’s face it,  sometimes you just think you’ve done something wrong because sometimes we haven’t even done anything wrong but it still feels that way because we’re so tough on ourselves.

Similar to forgiving someone else, forgiving yourself doesn’t make what you did right, acceptable or ok. Forgiving yourself just means owning it. It means letting it go and accepting that it doesn’t need to define who you are or who you want to be. It means you have to look in the mirror and be honest with yourself (which your ego really really hates to do.)

It means falling down.

Here’s the thing about falling down though. When you fall down, you actually meet the foundation of who you really are. The ground, the bedrock, the bottom – that’s where your feet should be planted and forgiving yourself actually helps you to get back to this place. It helps you to meet the real you.

So how do you forgive yourself? You cry. You feel bad. You sit with it.  You accept that you can’t change it. You accept that it’s in the past.

You let it go.

You meet the real you.


The Top 3 Things U Can Learn from a FIFA World Cup Player

fifa ball

The Top 3 Things U Can Learn from a FIFA World Cup Player

If you’re alive and paying attention to the world around you at all, you know that the 2014 FIFA World Cup is currently going on. As we were watching the game yesterday I realized that even though these players are clearly some of the best in the world, there are still some basic things they practice that we can also do in our own lives. Feel free to add to the list but these are the top three things that jumped out at me:

1) They take care of their bodies.

These players clearly are amazing athletes with incredible bodies but they weren’t born that way. They worked and continue to work hard every day to make sure they’re are able to do their jobs on the field. While you might not need to be in the same kind of shape as one of these players, they are a great reminder of just what our bodies are capable of if we feed them and treat them right. Take care of your body and watch what you’ll be able to do!

Read more…

Teens + Cancer: Why “Knowing Yourself” Means Taking Care of Your Body as Well as Your Mind

summer girl 2


Scary word right? Might make you think about a family member or someone you know who survived cancer or who maybe even died from cancer.

Let’s dig a little deeper. How about this combination of words?

Cancer + Teenagers

Got your attention?

Let’s get even a little more specific:

Cancer + YOU

How does that make you feel? Nervous? Scared? Uncomfortable? Falsely courageous like “Oh that could never happen to me. I’m young and healthy and everyone knows teenagers don’t get cancer!”

Well, I’m here to tell you that teenagers do get cancer and an important part to knowing and loving yourself is to really know your body.  That means not sticking your head in the sand and ignoring a problem or brushing it off as nothing especially if deep down it seems like more than nothing.

Read more…

3 Simple Steps Towards a Surefire Investment That’s Guaranteed 2 Pay Off Big

Blue Piggy Bank WIth Coins

“Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.” – Robin Sharma

So here we are at step #6 in the process of loving ourselves and it involves making an investment. Fortunately it’s one that everyone can afford regardless of how much cash you have in your piggy bank. It’s all about investing in yourself.

The List of Things You Need 2 Do 2 Love Yourself

1. Know yourself.

2. Be true to yourself.

3. Accept yourself.

4. Be gentle with yourself.

5. Value yourself.

6. Invest in yourself.

I’m not talking about buying yourself things because while that’s an investment of sorts, it’s not the kind that’s going to pay you back in the long run. That said, I’m never one to just walk by a shoe store without a little browsing so I’m not going to be a hypocrite and suggest that shopping isn’t fun too (because it is) but I want to talk bigger than just buying stuff.

Read more…

Want 2 B Attractive 2 Others? U Better Start With Yourself. 3 Easy Ways 2 Value U.

sunset people

You will be as much value to others
as you have been to yourself.

In this little mini-series of mine I’ve been breaking down the top six things you need to do in order to love yourself. If you’ve been following along you’ll know that it’s time to talk about #5 – Value Yourself.

1. Know yourself.

2. Be true to yourself.

3. Accept yourself.

4. Be gentle with yourself.

5. Value yourself.

6. Invest in yourself.

We all certainly value a lot of things in life don’t we? We value our family, our friends, and our stuff. Oh and our phones. We really value our phones. Imagine if you valued yourself as much as your phone?  Mind blowing.

It turns out that your worth to others actually depends on how much you value yourself. People can figure this out pretty quickly too. It’s like they can just sense whether or not you value yourself  and if they sense that you don’t, you can be sure that they won’t either. Trust me, there are some pretty crappy people out there who will be more than happy to take advantage of you one way or another if they realize you don’t care enough about yourself to stop them.

Read more…

Time 4 a Random Act of Kindness – 4 U!


Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. – Max Ehrman

On this road to learning to love yourself we’ve discussed the following:

1. Know yourself.

2. Be true to yourself.

3. Accept yourself.

Today we’re going to discuss #4: Be gentle with yourself.

You’ve probably noticed that you’re much harder on yourself than you are on others (and let’s admit it, we can all be pretty judge-y and critical of others so the fact that we’re actually harder on ourselves is pretty bad.) We’ve talked about accepting ourselves and forgiving ourselves but it’s ok to just be nice to yourself too. In fact, you’ve heard of paying it forward and random acts of kindness right? Why not love yourself by using some of those acts of kindness on you?

Read more…

5 Easy Things 2 Do 2 Learn 2 Accept Yourself

help others cookie

In some previous posts I shared my cheat sheet to loving yourself which includes the six steps below:


1. Know yourself.

2. Be true to yourself.

3. Accept yourself.

4. Be gentle with yourself.

5. Value yourself.

6. Invest in yourself.


Today we’re going to talk about #3: Accept Yourself.


If you think about the list, it all sort of makes sense so far doesn’t it? First you need to know yourself and understand who you are. Once you’ve gotten that figured out, you then need to stand up for who you know you are inside. Number 3 on this list can be a tough one because sometimes our True Self is not exactly who we thought we were or may be tough to live up to! On top of that, let’s face it, we’re our own worst critics and are harder on ourselves than anyone else is. All that negative self-talk doesn’t help move us forward though, it just holds us back.


Here are my top 5 tips to help you accept yourself as you are:


1) Celebrate and focus on your strengths and positives.


It’s easy to look at what’s wrong. Celebrate and recognize all the things you do well and all the positive aspects of you. Are you great at math but suck at soccer? Own it. Are you great at sports but not really an academic wonder? Own that. Are you a little curvier than your average supermodel? Rock those curves. Is your nose a little longer than your best friend’s? Consider it regal.  It doesn’t matter what you’re good at or what you look like, everyone has positives and strengths. Recognize and focus on those.

  Read more…

Happiness Starts with Being True 2 Yourself

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. -ee cummings

nose ring girl b&w

In a previous post I shared my cheat sheet to loving yourself which includes the six steps below.

1. Know yourself.

2. Be true to yourself.

3. Accept yourself.

4. Be gentle with yourself.

5. Value yourself.

6. Invest in yourself.

Let’s talk about #2 – Be true to yourself.

First, let’s recap why it’s important to love yourself. It’s pretty simple. Until you learn to love and be happy with yourself you will not be able to love someone else and you won’t be able to accept their love of you. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss out on love because I can’t figure out a way to love myself. As I discussed in another post, knowing yourself is the first step to loving yourself. After all, it’s hard to love someone you don’t even know right?

The next step after you know yourself is to actually be true to yourself. So what does that really mean?

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