The Secret Handbook 4 Teens

The 1st Step 2 Achieving Your Dreams: Define Your Moral Code

dream girl

Compassion

Honesty

Kindness

Loyalty

These are more than just words. These are actually values. In fact, they are some of my core values by which I try to live my life.

Your values are basically your moral code. They are the principles you live by and what’s important to you in life. When you are about to make a decision and you get that little fluttery feeling in your stomach that tells you something isn’t quite right, it’s probably because the decision goes against your values or moral code.

Here’s the thing about your moral code. It turns out that knowing your moral code is a really really important first step to achieving your dreams. In fact, I’ll guarantee you won’t achieve your dreams if they don’t align with your moral code.

Why you ask? Think of it like two puzzle pieces. If your puzzle (your life) is filled with pieces that fit (your moral code) and you try to add a piece from a completely different puzzle (your dream), nothing will fall into place. A dream that isn’t in sync with your moral code is like trying to fit a wrong piece into a puzzle. To make your dreams come true you need to make sure your dreams match your moral code.

Now It’s Time for You to Figure Out Your Own Moral Code

Here’s an exercise with 5 simple steps to help you figure out your own moral code. Be sure to write down your answers. Writing it all down is an important part of making all of this real.

1) When do you feel like you’re at your best or what makes you happiest e.g., what makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?

Here’s some examples: When you help a friend, when you volunteer for a charity, when you spend time with your friends and family or pet, when you achieve a goal you’re worked really hard on.

2) When do you feel like you’re not at your best or what makes you unhappy e.g., when do you feel icky inside?

Here’s some examples: When you get caught doing something you weren’t supposed to do, when you leave your homework until the last minute, when you talk behind someone’s back.

3) When did you feel the most proud e.g., what’s the last thing you did that made you hold your head up high?

4) Now think about what values might be at play for these situations. If you Google “list of core values” you will find several different sites with lists of values to help get you started. Write down some of your values. Cross of the ones that don’t quite feel right. Try to come up with your top three or five. Do they feel right? Do they represent your moral code or how you want to live your life?

5) Now think about your dream. Does it align with your core values? If it doesn’t, it’s going to be tough to make it come true. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not impossible but a dream that fits well with the rest of your life puzzle is going to be much easier to plop into your life. For example, you may think that you want to work in a job where situations change quickly and you’re never doing the same thing (maybe like being a newscaster?) but in reality, one of your core values is stability and you don’t like change. Does that mean you can never be a newscaster? Not at all but it actually may not be the dream job you thought it would be because it doesn’t align with your core values or moral code.

Spend some time thinking about your moral code. Figure out what matters to you. What are your core values? How do you want to live your life? Understanding this is the first step to achieving your dreams so get going!

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
– Gandhi

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